Review

Ted

  • Review Date: June 27, 2012
  • R
  • Genre: Comedy
  • 2012

Common Sense Media says

Extremely vulgar comedy also has some genuine sweetness.
Age
17
Quality
 
  • Positive messages1
    Buried beneath all the vulgar humor is a message about the benefits of growing up and becoming responsible -- though not necessarily wildly successful. Ted doesn't necessarily celebrate being rich as it does simply being happy and being with the ones you love.
  • Positive role models1
    He swears, drinks, and does drugs, but John also learns to be responsible and to "become a man" (i.e. a grown up) in order to deserve the woman he loves.
  • Violence2
    Ted and John have a knock-down, drag-out fist fight, destroying many of the objects in a hotel room. Ted whips John's bare bottom with a radio antenna. In one quick scene, Ted plays the "knife game" with a person's fingers, accidentally stabbing him on the hand. A little blood is shown. Other scenes of fighting, slight wounds, and arguing. Jokes about rape.
  • Sex4
    Heavy, heavy sexual content and innuendo, including a partly-obscured shot of Ted (the teddy bear) having sex with a human woman. The bear flirts with a girl by thrusting up against a cash register and then squirts hand cream on his face. One woman's naked breasts are shown. Part of Mark Wahlberg's naked bottom is shown. The main couple, who have been in a relationship for four years, are seen kissing and caressing each other. A close up of "Lance Armstrong's bronzed nut."
  • Language5
    Language is constant, strong, and extremely vulgar. This includes many uses of "f--k" and "s--t," as well as "Jesus" (as an exclamation), "oh my God," "douchebag," "douche," "ass," "a--hole," "motherf---er," "p---y," "t-ts," "c--k," "son of a bitch," "bastard," "d--k," "hell," "crap," "goddamn," and "whore." There are also many racial and ethnic slurs, as well as extremely crude and off-color jokes about topics like rape.
  • Consumerism3
    Several products are shown and/or referenced, including Budweiser beer, Michelob beer, Nintendo, PlayStation, Pop 'Ems, Sugar Corn Pops, Pepperidge Farm, Teddy Ruxpin, and more. Many, many movies and TV shows are also mentioned and/or shown, including Flash Gordon (1980), Bridget Jones's Diary, and Cheers.
  • Drinking, drugs, & smoking4
    The two main characters regularly smoke pot and drink beer recreationally. The main characters try cocaine for the first time at a party; the negative effects of this are shown. Characters also drink shots of hard liquor and champagne at a restaurant. No one is shown to have a problem or an addiction, and no drug dealers are shown.
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What parents need to know

Parents need to know that Ted was co-written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, creator of edgy cartoon TV series Family Guy. Without the constraints of network TV, MacFarlane has taken off the gloves and created an extremely vulgar movie, filled with wall-to-wall foul language, racial and ethnic jokes, sexual innuendo and references, some nudity and partly shown sex, and a violent fight scene. Characters drink beer and smoke pot regularly, drink harder alcohol occasionally, and even try cocaine (the negative effects are shown). There are also tons of pop culture references, as well as a few product references, including beer, junk food, and video games. But on the upside, the characters have genuine heart and work hard to become better people.

This review of Ted was written by
Age
15
Based on 22 parent & educator reviews:
  • 86% say there's too much drinking, drugs, or smoking
  • 86% say language is an issue
  • 82% say sexual content is an issue
  • 50% say violence is an issue
  • 36% say there are positive messages
Read the reviews

Most useful reviews by all members

Teen, 17 years old
June 29, 2012
15
Pause for kids & under
 
Good Humor with Good Story
Is it inappropriate? Completely. Is it crude? Definitely. Does it come close to going a little too far? Pretty much the whole movie. Is it extremely funny and actually have a sort of heart warming story? Yes. While it has extremely crude humor, language, drug use, and sexual content, it a very good movie. Unlike other movies in its category, Ted actually has a decent story and an ending that I admit made me a little emotional. Ted is an excellent choice for adults and older teens that will give them a good laugh and maybe even the urge to dig their own old teddy bear out of the closet.
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Kid, 12 years old
June 29, 2012
18
Not for Kids
 
Explecit
i wish i was older like 10 years older so i could watch it but untill then trailers it is
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Kid, 12 years old
July 3, 2012
13
OK for kids & up
 
For mature twelve year olds and up
I am twelve and I saw Ted. There was some bad language, but most twelve year olds know not to use this language. You didn't see any bad sex like seenes. And most kids that are 12 or 13 under stand the concepts of life. There was some drinking and drugs, but the movie said getting high is not good for you. There was only one joke that was over my head. I didn't laugh that hard since last year. the most funny part was the thunder song. " When you hear some thunder don't you be to scared, grab your thunder buddies and sing these magic words..." There wasn't bad violence. The violence was funny and not bloody. I think that kids under 12 or 13 will not understand some jokes that are in the movie. Over all i thought that this movie was quite funny.
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Parent
July 2, 2012
14
Pause for kids & under
 
Unsure
The movie Ted has very crude humor, there is sexual content, and drug and achohol use. I think 14 is a good age beecause teens should know about those types of things, but parents should still think about the movie viewing.
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Teen, 13 years old
July 2, 2012
13
Pause for kids & under
 
great comedy,love it
funny and witty typical Seth Macfarlane humor there are many sex jokes, in the grocery store scene ted humps the scanner,sucks on a chocolate bar like its was a penis (oral sex reference),and shoots white lotion on his face like it was sperm (ejaculation reference) all but the last joke pleased the woman,in the following scene,ted has sex with the woman who works at the grocery store but we only see ted and the woman's legs but we hear moaning,Ted invites hookers and we found out one of them pooped on the floor (we don't see her defecate) and we see Lori ted is also scene drawing on a woman's breasts,plus there are some jokes about controversial topics like rape,racism,anti-semetism,homophobia and the 911 attacks, plus ted smokes weed from a bong and drinking alcohol throughout the film, and has cocaine with John and Sam Jones, but are not seen doing the drug.John learns to grow up to win his girlfriend Lori.Ted and John get in a fight and beat each other up breaking objects and Ted spanks John with a radio antenna (we see Johns butt) Language wise (words like F*ck,Motherf*cker,sh*t,c*ck,d*ck,P*ssy,C*nt,ass,assh*le,t*ts,d**che,d**chebag,god*mn,p*ss,Jesus/Jesus Christ, are said)
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Teen, 16 years old
July 2, 2012
18
Not for Kids
 
Not worth your time or money
i saw this movie, and ended up walking out during it. the language, and not so funny humor, ruined it for me. So dont bother seeing it, even though ted is a cute teddy bear, he is not, he does drugs, drinks and parties.
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Teen, 14 years old
July 2, 2012
17
OK for kids & up
 
Very funny comedy with loads of language and crude jokes
There are absolutely hillarious parts of this movie and not many boring parts at all. It has strong sexual jokes and actions, as well as language and comic fighting and kidnapping. The language is pretty heavy, not to bad. Good for teens.
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Teen, 16 years old
June 30, 2012
16
Not for kids & under
 
Not for kids 16 and under
This is WAY too violent and Brutal for kids.
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Parent
June 29, 2012
14
Pause for kids & under
 
Fine Comedy. Pause for 14 and under.
Nothing is truly horrific about this movie. There is a decent amount of drugs and alcohol in this movie. A good amount of language and a small amount of sexual REFERENCES, but almost no sexual content. Take caution for your 14-15 year old.
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Teen, 13 years old
June 30, 2012
13
Pause for kids & under
 
Haven't had a good laugh in a long time and this sure hit the spot.
Just got back from watching Ted.Parents need to know that it is very vulgar and crass with many sexual references so I wouldn't recommend it to young tweens.But to older Tweens and teens,this is definitely a must watch.Very funny and heartwarming.The best part was the"F**k you thunder,you can suck my d**k" part.
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