Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Hey guys, how's it going? I heard What They Play had closed, and someone else suggested this site, so I thought I'd check it out. Anyway, I gotta give some clarification on the whole "sexual innuendo" thing. First, an explanation of WHY what's going on is going on: Samus Aran, the main character from the Metroid games, is a female inside a Chozo suit (robotic armor). In the Metroid series, there were occasionally parts where the suit would glitch up/become defective, and she'd go without it. She'd wear what is basically an almost-but-not-quite skintight catsuit (Seriously, what else would you wear inside a suit like Iron Man's? A jeans/t-shirt/jacket combo just isn't gonna work, guys). Anyway, yeah, in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, each character has a "Final Smash" attack, which is usually a large attack used to even the score, if you're falling behind. Samus' Final Smash is to use the last of the Chozo suit's energy to fire a massive blast of energy across the screen to hit the other opponents. Once finished, the Chozo suit falls off, and you're now playing as the much faster/more agile "Zero Suit Samus". Anyway, no, it's not presented in a sexual way AT ALL. Technically you don't even see her getting out of the suit, the character's entirely enveloped in a big flash of light, and when it goes away, she's just standing there. And there isn't any jiggling, either. There were actually some complaints from "adult" fans when the game first came out because "the jiggle physics aren't realistic enough" (Hint: There aren't any "jiggle physics" there, guys). So yeah, a movie spy-like catsuit. It can be considered suggestive material, but it's very mild in this case. Look up "Zero Suit Samus moveset" on YouTube and see for yourself. You're the parent of your own kid, you decide if it's too bad for your kid, but at least do the research first. And the stuff this "zezima536" kid down the page posted? I got a good laugh outta that. The characters always look the same, never appearing to have damage of any kind, IE wounds, missing limbs, blood/gore, or arrows piercing a girl's crotch. (heh, creative description, kid). Yeah, if you time it right, you can kick a character in the crotch, BUT it's no different from hitting anywhere else. Always the same cartoon punch/kick sound effects, with the same animations of the characters flinching and getting knocked back a couple feet. The character stated to "suck players up and while they are in his mouth viciously suck on them with passion", is KIRBY, Nintendo's famous little pink puffball alien. He sucks players up like a vacuum ( he actually has a vacuum-like sound effect, too), quickly swallows them, and gains some of their abilities. There's no "vicious sucking" involved here, folks. The character that "sh*ts them out as an egg" is the Mario series' dinosaur, Yoshi. The little dino dude swallows enemies, and lays an egg with them in it, temporarily keeping them from fighting, until they can break out. Nothing really vulgar here, either. As for "seeing under the princesses dresses", you can't really do that either. When you pause the game, you can change the camera angle and take screen shots. However, the camera is ridiculously restricted. Not so you can't see character's privates, but so that you can't see that those parts (along with quite a bit more of the game) aren't detailed at all. The princesses literally don't have crotches. With a bit of technical "hacking", the camera limits can be removed, and people have found that the legs just cease to exist slightly above the knee. Princess Zelda's dress is always too long to see anything slightly higher than the ankle, and in the occasional instance where you can see Princess Peach's legs, she's got a half slip and leggings, so you can't see anything there, either. SO ANYWAY, that's my rant about that. As far as the actual gameplay goes, this is a great multiplayer game. It's fun, and it lasts quite a while. Every match is different. There's a huge combination of characters, stages, and game modes, and there's also the fun random items and weapons appearing in the middle of a match, which can turn the tables quickly. To accurately describe it all would make this already long post two or three times longer. Just look up "Super Smash Bros. Brawl gameplay" on YouTube and see for yourself, then go buy a copy and play it, because Youtube videos don't do it justice, either. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't played a Smash Bros. game yet. ...I also feel sorry for anyone who seriously had no idea who Kirby was and had to read through that part of this post. (The Kirby games are awesome for kids, by the way. Look 'em up. They're as tame as it gets, and they're pretty easy, made with beginning/younger gamers in mind) Anyway, that's just about it for now. I'm getting tired of writing this. RECAP TIME: 1. This is an awesome game, and everyone who's capable of playing it should. 2. There are VERY, SUPER-INCREDIBLY MILD suggestive themes. Quite a bit less harmful than most of the crap most of you let your kids see on Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, and Nickelodeon these days. Get over it. 3. Google/Youtube, ESRB, and the game's official website are your friends. Alright, NOW I'm done.